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Were You Abused? Other Abusers Can Tell
Most people who’ve been in an abusive relationship before are already aware of the fact that they’re more likely than others to enter into another one. A lot of times we chalk it up to poor decision making skills, a lack of example-relationships (whether our own or our parents’), or a desire for the comfort of familiarity, even if that familiarity is toxic. But did you know that your experience as a victim of abuse also makes you more attractive to other abusers?
“For individuals with unresolved traumas, the mate-selection process often carries a double risk,” explains Dr. Shauna H Springer in Psychology Today. “That is, unhealed wounds of past trauma in your life lead to a higher likelihood that unsafe people will pick you, and if you actively pick a partner, it is much more likely that you will end up with an unsafe person.”
Abusers can pick up on an array of habits and body language that identify you as a vulnerable person.
In other words, Dr. Springer says, “If you have experienced trauma, it is often true that you will unintentionally emit certain signals and behaviors that chum the water for the psychopathic sharks in the dating pool.”
And just what are these signals? There’s a multitude, and you might not even be aware that you’re sending them.
Anti-social…
